Freedom from Slumber

THE GOOD BIRTHED DURING THAT TUMULTUOUS BRAIN-BENDING TIME OF COVID (Anniversary post - celebrating 2 years of Awake Woman on Substack! Thank you both faithful and new readers. xoxo)

5 short years ago.

Covid, the wildest experience of my lifetime thus far (who knows there may be more cray cray on the way), rolled out only 5 short years ago.

Now we are on the other side of it and the questions arise: Where are we now? What was the outcome? What was accomplished? What actually changed from all of the confusion, oppression, division, and suffering?

Covid was a wake-up call to millions of previously asleep people. THAT is the main silver lining – the one thing I can say for sure that has changed.

If you are now aware and awake to even a 2% greater degree, you see that one outcome was more freedom, less matrix.

If you are still going along trusting and hoping, then the outcome has most likely been PTSD, an even shakier sense of security, and confusion about the choice that mankind is being faced with.

It is quite evident that there exists a standoff between good and evil. But the fear piggybacking this idea is enough to keep many people deep in slumber. Not wanting to see it, to know it, or to do anything about it.

How in the WORLD could that be what’s actually happening here? A well-honed suspension of disbelief becomes mandatory to continue on in ignorant bliss.

This good vs. evil playing out on the cosmic stage, is microcosmed within each of us, butting up against our free will, challenging us to step further into our divine choice.

I had to come to a deep place of courage and listening within myself if I was going to stand up for myself, make sovereign decisions, and claim my right to do so.

I had to hold that scenario up for my spirit to absorb and ask the questions: is holding my truth worth the potential suffering and loss? What was I willing to accept? To do? To stand up for? What was I willing to ignore or compromise in myself?

Each willing step down the path of letting an external voice, source, agency, or person make decisions for you or dictate what you must do to get what you want or need, is food for a totalitarian state on the civil level, food for personal disempowerment on the individual level, and food for internal bondage on the spiritual level.

There was something very tempting about the idea of giving in and joining with the masses. Like the sweet relief it must be to stop treading water in the middle of an empty ocean and just give your body over to the waves – stop fighting, just surrender to what is trying to take you.

Photo by Noel Nichols on Unsplash

But no, that’s not me. I have a defiant streak that makes me both friends and enemies. I also have a deep vein of idealism. There is a better way. And there is no reason not to hold out for it.

So when I laid the choice on the table for my spirit to examine, it didn’t take long. There was absolutely nothing to be gained by compromising my values, my autonomy, and my rights. To do so felt like a death sentence to my soul’s integrity and freedom.

Freedom: is there a more beautiful thing?

I knew I had to be true to myself, regardless of the consequences. Once I knew and committed to standing strong, everything opened up for me.

What’s interesting is that it didn’t feel like I was taking up arms in a fight. It felt more like serenity.

Like no matter what happened, I knew I had my own back, that I prioritized my soul’s freedom, and that I was going to be OK. Nay, better than OK; I knew I was going to thrive.

Almost immediately the fear and confusion started dissipating. And the people who were making similar choices for themselves started appearing in solidarity. These were the signs that I was on my right path.

True freedom is being able to attend to, make choices about, and live according to your own inner wisdom and knowing.

True courage is choosing true freedom for yourself after you’ve honestly opened to that inner knowing. Because it’s not easy and it might come at great personal expense.

However, the loss of your soul’s sovereignty is a much greater price to pay in the long term than the immediate loss of daily conveniences – no matter how necessary they seem or how wonderful they might make you feel.

LOOKING BACK IN TIME, I WAS ASLEEP

A few short months into the pandemic I began to squirm uncomfortably with the acute awareness of my own tendency to go along, to wait for instructions about what to do.

Inexplicably, in the early spring of 2020, I unconsciously set aside my naturopathic treatment principles to strengthen and support the body’s vital life force so that healing can happen, and waited for a directive from a health authority with the one approved therapy for the one disease. Instead of using my own knowledge about treating patients with herbs, vitamins, homeopathy, and other naturopathic therapies that had been implemented for centuries to help people heal from any number of serious diseases, I fell prey to the dogma that natural therapies are weaker, not trustworthy, and not to be relied on for “this new serious covid virus” without the approval of the medical experts.

And get this: not even the naturopathic board trusted itself to make recommendations. They were waiting for the higher authorities like the FDA or the CDC or the AMA to give the go ahead that vitamin D or vitamin A or C or any number of herbs could be utilized for this new and daunting illness.

There were heated arguments in naturopathic forums about which herbs contributed to cytokine storm and which didn’t. It seemed that at every turn there was some potential way to do even more harm. It was deemed best to wait for the experts to give you the go ahead for this new, dangerous, never-before-encountered viral illness. Fear was thick.

I temporarily misplaced my knowledge of what I knew about the body’s inherent ability to heal itself once the vital life force energy was enabled to flow unencumbered. I put this very basic tenet of naturopathic healing (and other traditional medicine philosophies) on the back burner while I waited fearfully for someone to tell me what I was allowed to do to treat my patients.

Isn’t that unbelievably bizarre, stupid, and sad? You can see how captured and asleep I was when initially I was operating under a blanket of fear.

Photo by Erinada Valpurgieva on Unsplash

But that is why I am telling you this – confessing to you. I couldn’t see it until I allowed myself to see it.

With horror I started to learn that suspicions I had held for decades about true healing modalities being maligned, hidden, and regulated away from the public, had been done intentionally. Not out of ineptitude, but out of greed, manipulation, disregard, and yes, even malfeasance.

After the horrors were all laid out on the table for me to see, I was met with the hard choice of what I was going to do with all of that information. Was I going to allow myself to KNOW it? Would I choose to go in a different direction?

Would I allow myself to replace the conventional authority over medicine, health, and our bodies with a divine authority that comes through nature, the power of our bodies, the life force energy itself, and the frequencies of truth, love and courage?

Would I allow myself to LIVE and SPEAK these truths? Would I allow myself to welcome Spirit into my healing work? Even when an insurance company was paying for the visits?

My naturopathic physician’s training enabled me to see there was another way of healing. For years, without question, I practiced this better, more natural medicine as much as was possible within the larger framework of “the medical system”. But suddenly it was like I had come up against the boundary between conventional medicine and true complete healing with nature.

And even though I could look over at the superior way and know that I operated there most of the time, I couldn’t fully surrender myself to GO there 100%, no return ticket needed. Still somewhat limited, fearful, naïve, and suppressed.

The covid miracle for me personally was a loosening up and release from the imprisonment inside of my own limited worldview – one that I wasn’t even completely aware of.

I thought I was firmly standing in the alternative realm of naturopathic medicine. However, covid uncovered an unknown fear and limitation within me, a hesitation to really go there into what I knew deep down to be true.

But I DID decide to go there. I grabbed my courage, made the inner upgrades, and leapt.

The transition wasn’t smooth. I lost courage many times and hid. Conversely, I also regained courage and re-emerged many times too.

But I’m here now to say that yes, I ALLOWED it all.

As I look into the rearview mirror at the way things were for me and countless others, I feel strong.

I feel a power fueled by spiritual expansion.

I feel certainty within my being.

I now know what truth FEELS like in my body and being.

I find myself taking more personal risks, garnering courage to do more that is aligned with bringing in a new medicine, a new “system” of health. Although it will not look anything like the centralized, outer authority system that we are used to.

I find myself effortlessly weaving divine law into my work, my personal life, my relationships.

I am opening up to so many more things being possible – on grand scales that I never would have imagined my small self to be able to see.

A greater Self is emerging – coming out of the cave.

I see this in many other people too. People who inspire me and people who are inspired by me.

We are moving faster and faster toward something greater and greater. When I really let go to surrender to the ride, it is magnificent!

Don’t get me wrong, I still dip back down into the sludge, confusion, questioning, and yes, sometimes, even the fear. But more and more I know that the sludge is there to teach me and that by being with it fully, I can transmute it into more wonder and strength.

That’s pretty remarkable. In just 5 short years to see where I was and where I am now. And where humanity was and where it is now.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Don’t be misled into thinking that it’s not good.

For it is good.

Related posts of interest:

We Don't Need Doctors

When Public Health isn't about Public Health

SYSTEMS ALL AROUND US ARE COLLAPSING. THIS IS A GOOD THING.